I came back home, in my little town, after a long travel and every time I do it I have new realizations on myself and on those around me. Whenever I leave a city where I was living for some time I gain perspective on all I was doing there, everything lose importance, and I have a mixture feeling of sadness and happiness due to my deep understanding of the long road that I still have to walk to get where I want to be.
Sometimes I ask myself if I am doing the right choices, if travelling so much is making me lose something that I could never get back: the time with the ones I love.
Everyone knows deep down what is the right thing to be done, what separates the mass from the few is that some have the courage to do it anyway no matter fears, pain, uncertainties and sadness. What if I would have never left my first girlfriend to embark in a crazy year travel in South America? What if I could have just been happy with my situation without questioning my reality? What if I had never start walking on my own feet. What if I would have stayed comfortably and safe home without risking anything at all? I would have just stayed the same person, and that scares me.
When I stumbled upon self-help I really believed to have found the solution to all my problems and questions. Reading a few nice books I started believing to have all the answers, I was even giving advice to people when nobody asked for it. I really used to get angry when I lost my emotional balance because I thought that I was some kind of guru that could never experience stuff like that.
The more it did happen the more I gained back my humanity. I allowed myself to be sad at times or upset for stupid matters. With that I understood that I don’t really know nothing and when I mean nothing I say really I don’t know nothing.
I started having compassion for myself I can’t do better of what I am already doing. I know that following you heart is always the right choice even when seems impossible or crazy. Every time I did it things did work for the best even if best meant not knowing where I was going to sleep at night or if I had money to buy my next meal.
I learned that the journey teaches you everything you need to learn that what happens to you is always what you need is the dragon that you need to kill, and If you don’t kill it will keep representing its self in various form till the lesson is learned. I found life really comic at times when you look at it with the right attitude everything is laughable at. Life is a lesson that teaches you who you are.
For those who don’t take their journey I feel compassion but not for a second I believe that they are where are not supposed to be, your current situation is just a reflection of your fears.
Listening to music relaxing on your own bed, after a long travel just sizing the moment, happiness nothing to do, nowhere to go, where else to be if not here.
I knew I had something precious and that was my duty to start working on it. I am working on having a life as spontaneous and full of adventure as Forrest Gump.
I want everything of the large emotional spectrum that is usually referred as being alive thirsty of life and experience, I walk the world and everybody gives me what I need at the right time at the right place.
Resting and starting again, I am on my journey, willing to be walking forever on a path that seems without end.