How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie




Dale Carnegie is considered to be the father of personal-development and his bestseller, How to Win Friends and Influence People,his a must read for everyone serious about improving their lives.

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie will be incredibly helpful to everyone, but in particular for those who their job is based on handling people. So many times I had to witness managers with really poor relational skills, when just by reading a simple book like this, they could set themselves apart from the average and start doing an amazing job with the people they have to lead.

The aim of How to Win Friends and Influence People is to start overcoming problems that presents so many times in our lives when relating to others and enhance relationships in general. By doing what is suggested one could really start becoming happier and more fulfilled, because as everybody knows relationships are a huge part of our lives.

1. Criticism leads nowhere

“Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself. Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person`s precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouse resentment.” (From How to Win Friends and Influence People Dale Carnegie)

2. If you want to say something about the other person say something good

“An animal rewarded for good behavior will learn much more rapidly and retain what it learns far more effectively than an animal punished for bad behavior.”

3. People are emotional creatures

“When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity.” (From How to Win Friends and Influence People)

4. Try to see the world from the other person prospective

“Instead of condemning people, let’s try to understand them. Let’s try to figure out why they do what they do.“ (From How to Win Friends and Influence People Dale Carnegie)

5. Genuine compliments are the way to peoples hearts

“I have yet to find the person, however great or exalted his station, who did not do better work and put forth greater effort under a spirit of approval than he would ever do under a spirit of criticism.” (From How to Win Friends and Influence People Dale Carnegie)

6. Your goals has to be in correlation with the person that you want to persuade

“So the only way on earth to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it.” ( From How to Win Friends and Influence People Dale Carnegie)

“Arouse in the other person an eager want. He who can do this has the whole world with him. He who cannot walks a lonely way.”

“There is only one way under high heaven to get anybody to do anything. Did you ever stop to think of that? Yes, just one way. And that is by making the other person want to do it.”

7. Be curious about others

“By becoming genuinely interested in other people you can make more friends in two months than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you” (From How to Win Friends and Influence People Dale Carnegie)

8. Everyone sees himself as the most important person in the world

“People are not interested in you. They are not interested in me. They are interested in themselves.”

9. Smile :)

“The expression one wears on one`s face is far more important than the clothes one wears on one`s back.”

10. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves

“Remember that the people you are talking to are a hundred times more interested in themselves and their wants and problems than they are in you and your problems.“

11. Talk in terms of other person`s interests

“As all leaders know, that the royal road to a person`s heart is to talk about the things he or she treasures most.”

12. Make the other person feel important and do it sincerely

“If we are so contemptibly selfish that we can`t radiate a little happiness and pass on a bit of honest appreciation without trying to get something out of the other person in return- if our souls are no bigger than sour crab apples, we shall meet with the failure we so richly deserve.”

13. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it

“I have come to the conclusion that there is only one way to get the best of an argument- and that is to avoid it.”

“If you argue and rankle and contradict, you may achieve a victory sometimes; but it will be an empty victory because you will never get your opponent`s good will.”

“A misunderstanding is never ended by an argument but by tact, diplomacy, conciliation and a sympathetic desire to see the other person`s viewpoint.”

14. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically

“Say about yourself all the derogatory things you know the other person is thinking or wants to say or intends to say- and say them before that person has a chance to say them. The chances are a hundred to one that a generous, forgiving attitude will be taken and your mistakes will be minimized.”

“When we are right, let’s try to win people gently and tactfully to our way of thinking, and when we are wrong- and that will be surprisingly often, if we are honest with ourselves – let`s admit our mistakes quickly and with enthusiasm.“

15. Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately

“The more “ yeses” we, at the very outset, induce, the more likely we are to succeed in capturing the attention for our ultimate proposal.”

“Get a student to say “no” at the beginning, or a costumer, child husband, or wife, and it takes the wisdom and the patience of angels to transform that bristling negative into an affirmative.”

16. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking

“Let the other people talk themselves out. They know more about their business and problems than you do.”

17. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers

“No one likes to feel that he or she is being sold something or told to do a thing. We much prefer to feel that we are buying of our own accord or acting on our own ideas. We like to be consulted about our wishes, our wants, our thoughts.”

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