The-Four-Agreements Don Miguel Ruiz Saverio Valenti

THE 4 AGREEMENTS
SUMMARY AND REVIEW

This little book is filled with amazing ideas, Don Miguel  Ruiz doesn’t use words just to occupy space on paper, I could read a page every day from it and still learn something new each time. The Toltec Wisdom might seem simply common sense, but is not the case, if you truly apply the Four Agreements the quality of your life is going to improve drastically that’s why is going to be particularly helpful to those just starting on their journey.

1. BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORD 

Be conscious of the words you use in everyday life, you can create or destroy with
a simple word. There is a huge difference between saying “failure” and “lesson”. The first agreement is the most important one because the way in which we talk with ourselves and with others influences our interpretation of reality. 

the four agreements saverio valenti 

Surely, you have as well a friend that is always complaining and makes normal events, for instance, a test or a busy shift look catastrophic. Pay attention to the way he speaks and you will find out that he uses plenty of negative words.

Every word has a negative or a positive power it’s up to us to choose which ones to use. Obviously, is not easy to change how one speaks, nonetheless, with focus and time I managed to improve my negative self-talk and if I did it everyone can.

THE QUOTE

“The word is the most powerful tool you have as a human; it is the tool of magic. But like a sword with two edges, your word can create the most beautiful dream, or your word can destroy everything around you. One edge is the misuse of the word, which creates a living hell. The other edge is the impeccability of the word, which will only create beauty, love, and heaven on earth. Depending upon how it is used, the word can set you free, or it can enslave you even more than you know. All the magic you possess is based on your word. Your word is pure magic, and misuse of your word is black magic.”

The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz Page 34

2. DON’T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY.

The judgments of others about us come from their own point of view. For instance, if am walking down the street and a guy insults me, I shouldn’t get pissed because the comment has nothing to do with me and everything to do with whom has expressed it.

Is not my fault if someone thinks I am idiot, maybe he had a bad day, or is going through a difficult period in his life, whatever was his reason it doesn’t concern me.  When we don’t take anything personally we are immune to negative emotions caused by the opinions of others.

THE QUOTE

“Even when a situation seems so personal, even if others insult you directly, it has nothing to do with you. What they say, what they do, and the opinions they give are according to the agreements they have in their own minds. Their point of view comes from all the programming they received during domestication. If someone gives you an opinion and says, “Hey, you look so fat,” don’t take it personally, because the truth is that this person is dealing with his or her own feelings, beliefs, and opinions.”

The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz Page 44

3. DON’T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS.

I used to believe people could understand me even when I didn’t express myself. For instance if I didn’t like the behavior of a friend I thought he would have realized it sooner or later, obviously he couldn’t read my mind, so I consistently blamed other people creating pain in my life.

In order to avoid useless misunderstandings we should find the courage to ask questions and understand the point of view of others, there are reasons we don’t know behind the behaviors of people, when we make assumptions we confuse our thoughts for reality.

I used to have the habit of not expressing what I wanted because I thought my opinion was not important, however, each one of us has the right to express what he wants. We can receive a “yes” or “no” but whenever we don’t say what we want, and suppose what the choice of others is going to be, is as if we are rejecting ourselves, we are saying no before we give the opportunity to let the other person say yes.

THE QUOTE

“Because we are afraid to ask for clarification, we make assumptions, and believe we are right about the assumptions; then we defend our assumptions and try to make someone else wrong. It is always better to ask questions than to make an assumption, because assumptions set us up for suffering”

The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz Page 52

4. ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST.

When I was in school if I studied for a test and it went badly I didn’t have any regret because I had done what I was supposed to. Instead, when I didn’t study I knew it was my fault and so I beat myself up because I could have studied more.

The best we can do always changes, if am ill in bed is going to be different from when I feel good. For instance, when I am ill the best I can do might be reading a book, while, when I feel good might be working hard to reach my goals. When we always do our best we don’t regret what we have done, even though, we get poor results we free ourselves from negative emotions such as guilt, resentment, sadness and bitterness.

THE QUOTE

“Just do your best — in any circumstance in your life. It doesn’t matter if you are sick or tired, if you always do your best there is no way you can judge yourself. And if you don’t judge yourself there is no way you are going to suffer from guilt, blame, and self-punishment. By always doing your best, you will break a big spell that you have been under.”

The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz Page 59

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